A little over two years has flown by. I could recount those two years to you. But really... Some things are best left in the past. Lets just catch up to the current. Alice is now an amazing little 2 and 1/2 year old. Having been an incredibly challenging infant she has turned into the easiest toddler I could imagine. Smart, fun loving and full of drama. Everyone who knows her constantly has to remind themselves that she is only 2. For she neither looks not acts her age. And my dear sweet Elijah. He has a huge heart and a smile for everyone he meets. He's all boy- an adventurous, dare devil, sports loving, break dancing ninja. He has become the best big brother... And I for one am so proud to see the little boy he is becoming.
I wish I could take credit for the amazing little people they are. I wish I could say that it was all me. That I did everything right. But in all honesty... I know it is our Heavenly Father and Creator that all thanks is due. I haven't been the perfect mother and they have had a pretty rough time this last year. But I prayed, my family prayed, my friends prayed... And God answered our prayers. He protected my children. He guarded their hearts and minds... And I believe the work He has done in them... And in Samuel and I... has only just begun. He has great plans for us. What Satan meant for Evil, God has and will continue to turn to good.
We have spent the last 3 months starting the process of rebuilding our family. Asking God to forgive us.... And asking Him to help is forgive each other. It hasn't been easy, it still isn't. But with God all things are possible. Satan tried to destroy a family. His goal is to steal, kill and destroy. And he nearly succeeded. But when you have fallen so far. When you are at your very worst. When you can't go on anymore. It's there that you find that you are on your knees and the only way you have left is up. You look up... And there is Jesus. Waiting with open arms. Having been walking beside you the whole time. Waiting for you to turn to Him. That's what happened to me. And in that moment I had a choice. I could either stay in that pit of a life or step out in faith and see what God had to offer. Well... everyone knows I tend to have a stubborn streak. And that's probably putting it mildly. So I decided to stay in that pit. Wallow in my misery. Why should I turn to God now... Where was He when I needed Him most? Why did He let this happen? Yes... I am ashamed to admit, that's where I was. It's then the most amazing thing happened. God sent the most unexpected person into my life to fight for me... Samuel. See God had opened Samuel's eyes. Brought him out of the dark and into the light- that's how he describes it. And something happened to Samuel, I can't really speak for him as to what. But out of nowhere he showed up at my door... Ready to fight for his family. I resisted at first... But as time went on and Samuels persistence continued I was able to start seeing the light in his eyes. I could see the change in him and the fire that now burned inside... And I wanted what he had. I took a leap of faith and stepped back into Jesus... And back into my family. That first step may have been the hardest... But it hasn't been an easy road since. We have our ups and our downs. But we take it one day at a time with the confidence that God will see us through.
This isn't really where I intended this blog to go. But I am reminded of when Jesus told the Pharisees that's those who have been forgiven much, love much. And I never could relate to that scripture before like I do now. I am so thankful to my Savior for His never ending love and mercy. That He poured out his forgiveness on me and washed my slate clean. He pulled me out of that pit of a life that I had dug for myself. He dusted off the ashes of my past. And rather than try and fix what was broken, to rebuild what was destroyed. He said... Lets start new. A new life and a new story. Now the story is going to have all the same main characters (that's the best part) but its not going to have the same ending. See...that's what Jesus is all about. He is about New Life. Whether you have just come to Him for the first time.. Or you have known Him since you were 7, and got a little (or a lot) off track. He is always there waiting for you to take His hand and start over.
Thank you to my family and friends for all your love and support over this last year. And thank you for your prayers... they are needed now as much as ever.
With all my love,
Jess
